THE FEAR’S ORIGIN

THE TWO KINDS OF FEAR

The Buddhism says that there are two kinds of fear:

  • the appropriate fear
  • the inappropriate fear

A fear is appropriate when it is based in a danger of real existence, regarding which you can take measures to avoid it. Like the person that stops to eat red meats because he is afraid of lowering his spiritual vibrations.

The inappropriate fear is the one that arises from things that can not harm us, as having fear to a cockroach; or that we can not avoid, as being afraid to age. This kind of fear takes us to depress, and paralyzes us.

  • Everybody has many fears:
  • Fear of being socially rejected
  • Fear to make a mistake
  • Fear of success
  • Fear of suffering damages
  • Fear to don not find a couple or fear to the solitude
  • Fear to lose the couple that we have
  • Fear to get sick
  • Fear of critic
  • Fear to lose our job
  • Fear to the accidents
  • Fear to lose a loved one
  • Fear of poverty
  • Fear of death
  • Fear to the ridicule
  • Inexplicable fears
  • etc.

But in fact most of the fears have their root in an erroneous form of perceiving ourselves and the world that surrounds us, that is to say that they have a mental origin, and that´s why if we learn how to control our thoughts, we can finish with them.

The appropriate fear is a kind of fear that warns us that something is dangerous (like jumping to the street from a third floor, or to drink in excess). When the fear is appropriate, it is good to take conscience of a real danger, and to do the things that we should do to avoid it. For example if we are afraid of not being able to have a son, we can work our mind to avoid it.

If a person addicted to gambling has enough fear of taking his family to the bankruptcy and be left alone, he will go to therapy meetings that can help him to abandon his bad habit. But if he is not afraid of the consequences of his addiction, he will finish creating the conditions so that it happens to him what he fears.

As well as the one that drinks in excess can finish being alcoholic, we are all exposed to suffer pains, to wrinkle, to gray with the age and finally to die, reason why it doesn’t make sense to fear it, but rather we should get mentally and spiritually ready for it.

FEAR´S ORIGIN

Many people spend their life being afraid with no reason, in fact this happens to everybody, and if you think in which are those things that you feared in the last months, you will discover that 85% of them never happened.

Being permanently afraid prevents us to be ourselves, it prevents us to live in harmony, and it can also become paralyzing, like the people that fear to leave their houses, or fear to get ill.

Imagine that you go walking at night for a dark street, and suddenly you find that somebody is following you. You look back and you see that indeed a person comes walking behind you. Then you begin to be afraid that it might reach and assault you, and you imagine that besides assaulting you it can injure you. And if you are woman, you might think that you are in risk of being raped.

So when you notice that the other person accelerates the step, you begin to suffer each second until the other one finally walks by your side without even taking a glance at you.

Many fears are real because they exist like feelings, you feel that fear, but they are only a product of your negative thoughts.

And the truth is that most of the fears that we suffer daily belong to this second group: they are children of the negative thoughts.

When the illness, distress, accidents, death, and other negative thoughts come to our head, we should learn how to eliminate them before they can take control on us.

Our life is the product of our thoughts and who only has terrorizing thoughts can only hope to suffer fear. But as our life it is the product of our thoughts, when we think about terrorizing things we not only will start to suffer the physical consequences of being afraid, but rather will also attract that that we fear..

The world doesn’t exist separated from our mind, but rather it is a projection of our mind, just as it happens during the dreaming time. And as it happens with the worst dreams, when we wake up everything finishes.

When we sleep, all that happens during the dream seems as real as what happens to us when we are awake, and when we are awake, we find the things that frighten us real, because they are real, but only in our mind.

We think of terrorizing things and we get afraid, we think of pleasant things and we feel pleasure, but everything has originated in our mind, and with the control of the mind it can originate or not, or at least it can be eliminated when it arises.

Everybody owns within himself the power to combat his fears!

If your you suffer fear you can eliminate it practicing with my CD: Miedo

Written by Dr. Roberto A. Bonomi

You will find all that you need to know about, self help, stress control, weight control, stop smoking, mind control, relax, motivation and meditation with subliminal messages at Dr. Bonomi’s web site: http://en.drbonomi.com

This article may be reprinted provided no changes are made and this resource box is included in full.

 

Do You Suffer Fear Of Success?

Do you realize that if you have fear of success, you want be able to reach success?

Does The Fear Of Success Exist?

There are many ideas that are not easy to accept, and one of the worst is the idea that we can not have the success that we look for, because we are afraid of success. It is frequent to see how people that are working on their life´s argument, as a way of approaching more quickly to the goals that they have, when they begin to practice what they have learned, and begin to come closer to their goals, all of a sudden they stop practicing the techniques. Why do they do that?

Simply because they are afraid that their new behaviors might take them toward some kind of unknown danger. After having lived a life filled with frustrations, they find difficult to accept the idea that they will leave the group of the failures; and happens many times because since they were small they got used to be criticized and the blame feelings.

The parents influence on this is so big that if we wanted to novelize an example, we could say that if someone gives a blue shirt and a green shirt to a seven year-old future winner, when he puts on the blue shirt they will tell him “How happy I am that you like the blue shirt”, but to a future failure they will say “you put on the blue shirt, don’t you like the green one?”.

With this example I want to highlight that it is very frequent to see that in some families, the parents have the tendency to do not notice what the child do, but do notice what we don’t do, or do bad.

I would say that for many, success is as strange as a martian; and then they think things like: “It’s better something bad and well known that something good to be known” or “Better a bird in hand than a hundred flying” or
“The changes are dangerous” or “The changes are bad”

All our culture seems to tell us that it is better to escape from the success that to cohabit with a stranger.

The Life’s Argument

Every time that we abandon an old behavior, although it could have been extremely pernicious for us, we feel a strange sensation of loss, of bereavement; because we are so used to love us that we even love those behaviors that damage us.

When the patterns of the failure break, we feel anxiety, something like an emptiness sensation. Our conscious mind is congratulated to have overcome a problem, and at the same time our subconscious mind cries the loss of a well-known one.

This is in fact the point where practicing mind control reaches its maximum value like a catapult toward a better life, because in that moment we will really need, the support of all that helps us to change, and to move from fear to success.

Our Inner Guardian

Our subconscious mind recognizes only one master, and it’s the guardian of our Life’s Argument. That guardian’s mission is to watch over our existence, and to control that nothing changes, to verify that each one of our behaviors responds to some pattern fixed in our past. That way our waste of energy will be minimum, and everything will continue perfectly predictable and sure, perhaps it won’t please us a lot, perhaps it won’t please us at all, but we will feel sure!

It is our guardian who produces the emptiness sensation, the sadness, the anxiety and fundamentally the fear, fear to change, fear of success.

Our guardian doesn’t give up easily, he doesn’t stop making us feel fear of success, because HE feels fear of success, and only the familiarity with success can calm him, only if we get used to the idea of being praised, we can begin to accept that that ET is a good partner, or even that it is a better partner than those that we have had up to now.

But meanwhile, our inner guardian not only will provoke us fear, but even perspirations, nausea, pains and varied symptoms of uneasiness. These are the consequences of our fear of success, but they are also the signs that we are beginning to change.

Suppose that you have already taken a step toward the success.. What Will it happen then? It will happen that our guardian simply gets calmer because he is receiving the caress of the commendation. But he doesn’t leave, and neither it changes ideas, but rather stays in trap attitude, to see what it is that happens.

He is willing to accept our new success momentarily, but it is not willing to accept the presence of a bigger success. Every time that we attempt an important new step to the front, our fear of success will reappear. But then we will have a new advantage, and that will be that not only we will have tasted the victory, but we will have made ourselves to the idea, that the success is also waiting for us.

The Terror To Failure

Another great reason for the fear of success, is our terror to failure. We are generally so afraid to fail that we rather give up our dreams, than to suffer another defeat. But the defeat is not an enemy but a teacher, and we should learn to listen and incorporate its message; we should stop to join forces to attempt it again.

Once I read that when a weights lifter tries to break a mark and it doesn’t achieve it, he doesn’t continue trying and frustrating himself, but rather lowers the weight, practices some time with that lower weight, and when he feels sure again, he tries to conquer its own mark again.

The reality is that there isn’t something like warranted happiness, and the great difference between the winner and the failure, is that the winner faces problems and fears the same as the failure, but the winner overcomes, he learns and it continues ahead.

With this I don’t mean that it is impossible to stop making errors. There are many people that haven´t made a single error for years. And to be part of this group that is not afraid of success because it never makes errors, you need only one thing: to die. : -)

Written by Dr. Roberto A. Bonomi

Author of THE SECRET of The Magic Lamp and it’s 42 Self Help CD with Subliminal Messages, that can be found at http://www.drbonomi.com”

Dr. Bonomi’s CD 32 is about Fear

Are You Afraid Of The Critic?

Where does the fear of critic come from? In fact nobody knows what originated this fear, but we know that the human being suffers it in a very widespread way.

Perhaps this is a consequence of our daily fight for the status, and either we know that other ones are really worth more than us, or they find something to criticize in us.

This fear so ingrained in the human being and that so much good would make us take out from us it is on the other hand a very important element to keep in mind if we are in commerce, because every year it reports juicy benefits, creating fashion articles.

Another reason why the fear of critic is today so strong, might be the little flexibility that the rulers of most of the countries have to receive critics (in some countries a critic can cost the life of a person).

The fear of critics destroys the capacity to imagine, the trust in itself, and the initiative of the individual, mainly if that critic comes from people whom he respects, like his own parents.

The critic has such a strength coming from people that we respect that sometimes reaches the value of the prophecy: how many mothers that raised their children telling them sentences like “if you keep on doing that, you will finish being a criminal as your father” found themselves spending their weekends making visits at some penitentiary.

Of all the services of which today we can enjoy, perhaps the most abundant to find is that of the critic. We find it all around us, and everybody seems to have an abundant stock to provide us; being generally the worst our own relatives.

THE MAIN SYMPTOMS OF THE FEAR TO THE CIRITC ARE:

Lack of naturalness: that it will be expressed with constant twinkling, stupidity in the movements, shyness and fear to be contacted by strange people

Lack of serenity: that it will be noticed as edginess in front of the other ones, lack of voice control and poor memory

Weak personality: lack of stability and slowness in the taking of decisions, lack of personal charm, impossibility to stand for something, and the tendency to grant the reason to the other ones; and to accept defeat without protesting.

Inferiority complex: the habit of boasting in front of others usually hides an inferiority feeling. To criticize others on their back and to flatter them in their presence; shows a great inability to accept the reasonable critics to our own errors.

Competition Attitude: this is the habit of spending more than we can, to be to the neighbor’s height, and to imitate others in the way they express or dress themselves.

Lack of Initiative: this takes us to waste the opportunities of progress, because of the lack of trust in our own ideas, and fear to express our opinions.

Author: Dr. Roberto A. Bonomi

Author of “THE SECRET of The Magic Lamp” (written in 1987) and it’s 42 Self Help CD with Subliminal Messages, that can be found at http://www.drbonomi.com

Do You Know That It Is Good To Have Fear?

Why must we consider the fear as good?

When one speaks of the fear, I believe that the first thing that it is necessary to highlight that being afraid it is good, it is something necessary in our learning process, since it teaches us to avoid dangerous things as putting our fingers into the plug, to cross the street without looking to the sides, etc.

But the fear is not something natural, but rather it is something learned. The babes only fear two things:

* The strong noises

* To fall down

And their parents teach them to fear all the other things that they fear. I know that they do it with the intention of protecting the baby, although they sometimes exaggerate and end up raising fearful children.

When a child suffers pain, he knows perfectly well that he doesn’t like that, because he is experiencing it in his own flesh and blood, he doesn’t need anybody to explain to him that that is bad; but when an adult inculcates fear in a children, he doesn’t know what to expect, he doesn’t know exactly what is it that it’s going to happen, and everything is left to his imagination. In some cases this can end up with an unjustified extreme fear.

The changes also produce fear for the same reason, because we don’t know with what we will meet in the new situation, and this not knowing what is it what will happen to us, can sometimes be paralyzing. That is to say that the fear is a natural reaction toward the new, and that the unknown usually produces insecurity feelings.

HOW TO REMOVE THE FEAR

If the fear is inculcated by other people, in the same way it can be removed by other people when they offer us their protection.

The fear is in fact an emotion that you can accept and refuse. If it comes to us and we allow him to stay, it scares us, if we think a lot about the possible unpleasant consequences, it grows; but if we refuse it, it reduces itself and ends up disappearing.

The counter attack measures will depend on the age of who suffers it. If it is a child he will need to feel the protection of the adults, and to know the reasons why he should not fear what he fears, while when it is an adult, it is necessary to learn how to control the thought processes.

It is important to understand that: The fear is real for the one that suffers it!

When somebody tells us that he is afraid, we might think that he has not reasons to feel what he feels, but we should not doubt that he is afraid, and it doesn’t matter if we find it reasonable or not.

The fear is not solved diminishing the one that has it, nobody stops being afraid because someone tells him that it is ridiculous to be afraid. Fear can only be controlled attacking its roots, and its roots are inside the mind of each one.

Description
To fear is not only normal, to fear is good and you can learn why

Author: Dr. Roberto A. Bonomi

Dr. Bonomi is the author of “THE SECRET of The Magic Lamp” and it’s 42 Self Help CD with Subliminal Messages, that can be found at http://www.drbonomi.com

A Good Example Of An Useless Fear

We should have fear to the birth and not to the death

fear of death

THIS IS AN USELESS FEAR

Since we all must die. This is truly an useless fear, but not an inappropriate fear, since an inappropriate fear is the one that can not harm us or one that we can not avoid.

The illuminated human being is immune to the death, he has the power to choose the moment in which he wants to die, and his death will also lead him to the salvation of the wheel of births.

In fact we should have fear to the birth and not to the death.

The death can be our step toward a better life, while the birth is always a step toward this life´s suffering
Some people are so afraid to the death that ignores the topic as if it won’t happen to them. Others think morbidly about the death, and the fear that they have, prevents them to live and to enjoy life fully.

Related with the death there is a fear that is truly appropriate and it is the only one that we should have:

The fear of a useless life

It has an useless life the one that has not known how to take advantage of his life to get ready for the death, and it increases his karma instead of reducing it.

Nobody can avoid the death, (except for the realized ones) but we all can get ready for the death, and the one that has lived aware of the unavoidable of his death, and has gotten spiritually ready, when the death arrives, he can receive it in peace like the arrival of the moment of the rest, the moment in which he will receive all the prizes accumulated by his merits.

THE DEATH IS A REMINDER AND NOT A MISFORTUNE

The death is something that exists as a constant reminder that invites us to fill with our lives with meaning. We know that we must die, we know that we will be judged for what we made, and this should serve us like a guide. Otherwise, there won’t be way to protect us from what comes later.

The one that is in peace with the idea of the death, not only has achieved an equanimity that is impossible to find in the non religious men, but rather it is able of sharing his peace to the friends and relatives that are next to the death.

This world is like an airport to which we arrive after having abandoned another airport, and of which we will leave again to continue our trip.

But which must be our destination?

That depends entirely on us.

In this trip between life and life, we arrive alone to the airport, we leave alone and only we can decide to not be alone during our present life.

When we arrive we don’t bring any baggage neither any baggage will we be able to take when we live, it doesn’t matter how much money, power or social position we had achieved in this life. In the moment of our departure we can only take with us the impressions of our virtuous or harmful actions in our causal body.

The one that ignores the death and wastes his life accumulating what he won’t be been able to take, (many times carrying out harmful actions to get it), it has only one destination: a new port with a heavy karma.

But the one that as he knows that he will die, he thinks about the sense of his existence, and ends up understanding that his spiritual development is the only reason for which he has been born, that one knows that he should not be afraid to the death, and should only be afraid of an useless life that will cause him a new birth in this plane of the reality.

If you suffer fear you can eliminate it practicing with my CD # 32 “Miedo” (in spanish only)

Written by Dr. Roberto A. Bonomi

You will find all that you need to know about, self help, stress control, weight control, stop smoking, mind control, relax, motivation and meditation with subliminal messages at Dr. Bonomi’s web site: http://www.drbonomi.com