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Why must we consider the fear as good?
When one speaks of the fear, I believe that the first thing that it is necessary to highlight that being afraid it is good, it is something necessary in our learning process, since it teaches us to avoid dangerous things as putting our fingers into the plug, to cross the street without looking to the sides, etc.
But the fear is not something natural, but rather it is something learned. The babes only fear two things:
* The strong noises
* To fall down
And their parents teach them to fear all the other things that they fear. I know that they do it with the intention of protecting the baby, although they sometimes exaggerate and end up raising fearful children.
When a child suffers pain, he knows perfectly well that he doesn’t like that, because he is experiencing it in his own flesh and blood, he doesn’t need anybody to explain to him that that is bad; but when an adult inculcates fear in a children, he doesn’t know what to expect, he doesn’t know exactly what is it that it’s going to happen, and everything is left to his imagination. In some cases this can end up with an unjustified extreme fear.
The changes also produce fear for the same reason, because we don’t know with what we will meet in the new situation, and this not knowing what is it what will happen to us, can sometimes be paralyzing. That is to say that the fear is a natural reaction toward the new, and that the unknown usually produces insecurity feelings.
HOW TO REMOVE THE FEAR
If the fear is inculcated by other people, in the same way it can be removed by other people when they offer us their protection.
The fear is in fact an emotion that you can accept and refuse. If it comes to us and we allow him to stay, it scares us, if we think a lot about the possible unpleasant consequences, it grows; but if we refuse it, it reduces itself and ends up disappearing.
The counter attack measures will depend on the age of who suffers it. If it is a child he will need to feel the protection of the adults, and to know the reasons why he should not fear what he fears, while when it is an adult, it is necessary to learn how to control the thought processes.
It is important to understand that: The fear is real for the one that suffers it!
When somebody tells us that he is afraid, we might think that he has not reasons to feel what he feels, but we should not doubt that he is afraid, and it doesn’t matter if we find it reasonable or not.
The fear is not solved diminishing the one that has it, nobody stops being afraid because someone tells him that it is ridiculous to be afraid. Fear can only be controlled attacking its roots, and its roots are inside the mind of each one.
To fear is not only normal, to fear is good and you can learn why
Author: Dr. Roberto A. Bonomi